如果朋友圈只剩你一個人單身
Making your way through this cruel, confounding, ever-changing world is difficult. Something make you anxious this week, or any week? Lay it on me at askdaveholmes@gmail.com. I'm here to help you minimize the damage you will necessarily inflict on the world. So, what's your problem?
一個人生活在這樣一個殘酷、混亂和不斷變化的世界中是很困難的。這周有沒有發生什么讓你感到焦慮或是虛弱的事情呢？寫郵件至askdaveholmes@gmail.com告訴我吧。我會幫助你，將你在這個世界上必將遭受的損害降到最低。那么，你有什么煩惱呢？
Dave,
戴夫，
I am newly 30, and feeling lost. I am pretty sure (ugh) I am gay, but have not come out-not for any fear of retribution, but I personally feel it is my business and mine only.
我剛剛30歲，感覺很迷茫。我確定自己是個同性戀，但由于害怕報應，我還沒有出柜，我覺得這是我的事，也只是我一個人的事。
My real insecurity lies somewhere else at the moment. I have had the same best friends since grade school. Turning 30, they are all getting engaged or married or having kids. I am happy for them, truly. I want to be part of their new and exciting lives. But I am slowly circling the drain of being the only single friend left in a sea of couples. I have never really cared all that much, but I feel like now I am fighting a clock to find happiness, and that happiness exists only with a mate. I enjoy my single life and solitude, but I am feeling more and more out of place among the people whom I love the most. I feel like I cannot relate to them the same way anymore.
現在，我的不安來源于其它原因。自小學畢業起，我就擁有了那群最好的朋友。轉眼我30歲了，他們都訂婚了、或是結婚了、有孩子了。我真心為他們感到高興。我希望成為他們全新而又激動的生活的一部分。但我卻在被慢慢榨干，因為我是一群情侶中唯一的一個單身漢。我從未如此在乎過，但我現在卻覺得我在爭分奪秒的追求幸福，而只有同性才能給我帶來這種幸福。我享受單身、孤獨的生活，但我卻與那群我最愛的人越來越不協調。我覺得再也不能像以前那樣和他們心靈相通了。
How can I be single in a world of coupledom without crippling anxiety? Is this normal when you turn 30? It doesn't help that parents are nagging, work is not as fulfilling as it once was, and I am longing for a drastic change in life but have no idea where to begin.
如何才能在一群情侶中保持單身而又不感到焦慮呢？當你30歲時，這正常嗎？父母嘮叨、工作不如以往那般充實是沒有任何幫助的，而我正渴望著生活發生巨大的變化，但卻又不知從何開始。
-Andy
--安迪
It is completely natural to feel anxious when all of your friends are coupling up, which they seem to be doing right on schedule. But I'd ask you to pause your churning mind for a moment and ask yourself one simple question: Whose schedule are you on? Do you want to be in a relationship because you're ready to explore life with another human being? Or do you want it because you're the only one who doesn't have it? Does your happiness truly depend on having a mate, or is it this year's iPhone?
當所有的朋友都找到自己的伴侶，按著正確的人生計劃進行時，你感到焦慮是完全正常的。但請你暫時不要胡思亂想，問自己一個簡單的問題：你過的是誰的人生？你想要談戀愛是因為你真的準備好和另一個人一起探索生活了嗎？還是只是因為你是唯一一個沒有談戀愛的人，所以你才想要擁有戀情呢？你的幸福真的只能由同性帶給你嗎？會不會今年新出的iPhone就能給你帶來幸福感呢？
Making your way through this cruel, confounding, ever-changing world is difficult. Something make you anxious this week, or any week? Lay it on me at askdaveholmes@gmail.com. I'm here to help you minimize the damage you will necessarily inflict on the world. So, what's your problem?
一個人生活在這樣一個殘酷、混亂和不斷變化的世界中是很困難的。這周有沒有發生什么讓你感到焦慮或是虛弱的事情呢？寫郵件至askdaveholmes@gmail.com告訴我吧。我會幫助你，將你在這個世界上必將遭受的損害降到最低。那么，你有什么煩惱呢？
Dave,
戴夫，
I am newly 30, and feeling lost. I am pretty sure (ugh) I am gay, but have not come out-not for any fear of retribution, but I personally feel it is my business and mine only.
我剛剛30歲，感覺很迷茫。我確定自己是個同性戀，但由于害怕報應，我還沒有出柜，我覺得這是我的事，也只是我一個人的事。
My real insecurity lies somewhere else at the moment. I have had the same best friends since grade school. Turning 30, they are all getting engaged or married or having kids. I am happy for them, truly. I want to be part of their new and exciting lives. But I am slowly circling the drain of being the only single friend left in a sea of couples. I have never really cared all that much, but I feel like now I am fighting a clock to find happiness, and that happiness exists only with a mate. I enjoy my single life and solitude, but I am feeling more and more out of place among the people whom I love the most. I feel like I cannot relate to them the same way anymore.
現在，我的不安來源于其它原因。自小學畢業起，我就擁有了那群最好的朋友。轉眼我30歲了，他們都訂婚了、或是結婚了、有孩子了。我真心為他們感到高興。我希望成為他們全新而又激動的生活的一部分。但我卻在被慢慢榨干，因為我是一群情侶中唯一的一個單身漢。我從未如此在乎過，但我現在卻覺得我在爭分奪秒的追求幸福，而只有同性才能給我帶來這種幸福。我享受單身、孤獨的生活，但我卻與那群我最愛的人越來越不協調。我覺得再也不能像以前那樣和他們心靈相通了。
How can I be single in a world of coupledom without crippling anxiety? Is this normal when you turn 30? It doesn't help that parents are nagging, work is not as fulfilling as it once was, and I am longing for a drastic change in life but have no idea where to begin.
如何才能在一群情侶中保持單身而又不感到焦慮呢？當你30歲時，這正常嗎？父母嘮叨、工作不如以往那般充實是沒有任何幫助的，而我正渴望著生活發生巨大的變化，但卻又不知從何開始。
-Andy
--安迪
It is completely natural to feel anxious when all of your friends are coupling up, which they seem to be doing right on schedule. But I'd ask you to pause your churning mind for a moment and ask yourself one simple question: Whose schedule are you on? Do you want to be in a relationship because you're ready to explore life with another human being? Or do you want it because you're the only one who doesn't have it? Does your happiness truly depend on having a mate, or is it this year's iPhone?
當所有的朋友都找到自己的伴侶，按著正確的人生計劃進行時，你感到焦慮是完全正常的。但請你暫時不要胡思亂想，問自己一個簡單的問題：你過的是誰的人生？你想要談戀愛是因為你真的準備好和另一個人一起探索生活了嗎？還是只是因為你是唯一一個沒有談戀愛的人，所以你才想要擁有戀情呢？你的幸福真的只能由同性帶給你嗎？會不會今年新出的iPhone就能給你帶來幸福感呢？
