GRE作文入門和進階二十四
(病歷文)
In this argument, the arguer recommends us to use Adams, one of the two leading real estate firms in our town, to sell our homes if you want to instead of Fitch, the other leading one. To justify his conclusion, the arguer provides the clear evidence that Adams has 40 real estate agents in contrast to the number 25 of Fitch, and even many of which are only part-time. In addition, he cited the fresh statistics of revenues of both Adams and Fitch, which respectively are $168,000 and $144,000. To make it more conceivable, the arguer even lists out a self-experienced case to exhibit the superior sell speed of Adams to Fitch. Although all the evidences above seem reasonable, a careful examination of this argument would reveal how groundless it is.
In the first place, the arguer unfairly assumes Adams service is better than Fitchs with the assumption that more agents, more satisfaction. The 40 agents in Adams might be poorly trained and unqualified with an extremely low work efficiency, thus enlarging the number of the agents is the only feasible compensation. While Fitchs 25 agents may be well trained and be rich in experience, although many of them work only part-time, under the present work condition it is enough. And also the quality of the service cant be oversimplified to only a factor of the number of employees, which, in our common sense, has no necessary correlation. It is some other things should be taken into consideration, such as social reputation, the feedbacks of customers and the companys culture and spiritual, to avoid making the assertion too unwarranted.
In the second place, the statistics offered by the arguer cant elucidate anything. It seems true that Adams achievement is greater than Fitchs through the comparison of revenues, but the data itself is too vague to be informative. Taking into account the service charge, which cant be omitted in this case, we absolutely have adequate reasons to doubt the charge from Adams is far larger than Fitch, which eventually leads to such a gap. Another possibility of the result is contributing to the types of house they are entrusted to sell, since no evidence showed that Adams can afford to sell the lower-price estates while Fitch can assume the opposite ones, thus the phenomenon arises.
Last but not least, in short of legitimacy is that Fitch really sells homes slower than Adams does. According to the arguers narrative, he entrusted his home to Fitch ten years ago when the balance of offer-request heavily outweighed the left side and Fitch selling it in more than four months is nothing but a miracle. Adams, instead, sold his another home in one month last year during which the request for house might be booming as a result of influx of the foreign immigrants. Under this circumstance, Adams success, however, is merely ordinary. Besides, the two houses sold out no doubt have natural differences, which tightly related to the smooth process of selling, such as location, structure, areas, and materials. The arguer thus makes so hasty a generalization regardless of these crucial points.
As it stands, the argument is not well reasoned in lack of some indispensable evidence. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer would demonstrate that the superior quality of Adams agents and the relatively lower charge comparable to Fitchs. Additionally, more details should be evinced, concerning the actual estate situation in those periods of time and fundamental instructions of the two sold houses, to rule out the above-mentioned possibilities. (587 words)
點評:該范文充斥著上面討論的各種毛病,僅開頭就131字,加上結尾超過200字,已經遠遠超過正文1/3篇幅,是不可取的。許多模式句型充斥,結尾老套,不值得學習借鑒。另外很多考生關心這樣一來字數就不合要求。ETS從來沒有對作文字數有要求,盡管網上流行說法認為閱卷者將字數列為打分項目之一,但是在ETS公布的評分標準中是覓不著蹤跡的,況且ETS極講究科學性,不會以貌取人,但求以理服人,這
從他考試的設計可以看出來。所以正常的ARGUMENT作文可以在350500字之間,而ISSUE可在450600之間,這是按正常打字速度與思維速度指定的標準。很多網上作文包括我這里的某些范文都有遠遠超過500,600字的,很少是在真正全封閉作業下,45分鐘或30分鐘內完成的,在考試時間內,按上述標準的字數作文拿滿分是綽綽有余的,事實說明一切,我的諸多戰友,包括前面提及的Violet,從來都是靠5步一殺,3步一槍,(500字左右ISSUE,300字左右ARGUMENT),在4,6級詞匯范圍內穩拿5分6分,可見一斑。不相信的考生應該自己在PP2、PP3的作文模考中親身體驗,我會在最后推薦大家一個行之有效的快速練習作文速度和質量槍手作文速成訓練法,我們這一輩稱為替身殺手的人都是這樣練出來的。
(病歷文)
In this argument, the arguer recommends us to use Adams, one of the two leading real estate firms in our town, to sell our homes if you want to instead of Fitch, the other leading one. To justify his conclusion, the arguer provides the clear evidence that Adams has 40 real estate agents in contrast to the number 25 of Fitch, and even many of which are only part-time. In addition, he cited the fresh statistics of revenues of both Adams and Fitch, which respectively are $168,000 and $144,000. To make it more conceivable, the arguer even lists out a self-experienced case to exhibit the superior sell speed of Adams to Fitch. Although all the evidences above seem reasonable, a careful examination of this argument would reveal how groundless it is.
In the first place, the arguer unfairly assumes Adams service is better than Fitchs with the assumption that more agents, more satisfaction. The 40 agents in Adams might be poorly trained and unqualified with an extremely low work efficiency, thus enlarging the number of the agents is the only feasible compensation. While Fitchs 25 agents may be well trained and be rich in experience, although many of them work only part-time, under the present work condition it is enough. And also the quality of the service cant be oversimplified to only a factor of the number of employees, which, in our common sense, has no necessary correlation. It is some other things should be taken into consideration, such as social reputation, the feedbacks of customers and the companys culture and spiritual, to avoid making the assertion too unwarranted.
In the second place, the statistics offered by the arguer cant elucidate anything. It seems true that Adams achievement is greater than Fitchs through the comparison of revenues, but the data itself is too vague to be informative. Taking into account the service charge, which cant be omitted in this case, we absolutely have adequate reasons to doubt the charge from Adams is far larger than Fitch, which eventually leads to such a gap. Another possibility of the result is contributing to the types of house they are entrusted to sell, since no evidence showed that Adams can afford to sell the lower-price estates while Fitch can assume the opposite ones, thus the phenomenon arises.
Last but not least, in short of legitimacy is that Fitch really sells homes slower than Adams does. According to the arguers narrative, he entrusted his home to Fitch ten years ago when the balance of offer-request heavily outweighed the left side and Fitch selling it in more than four months is nothing but a miracle. Adams, instead, sold his another home in one month last year during which the request for house might be booming as a result of influx of the foreign immigrants. Under this circumstance, Adams success, however, is merely ordinary. Besides, the two houses sold out no doubt have natural differences, which tightly related to the smooth process of selling, such as location, structure, areas, and materials. The arguer thus makes so hasty a generalization regardless of these crucial points.
As it stands, the argument is not well reasoned in lack of some indispensable evidence. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer would demonstrate that the superior quality of Adams agents and the relatively lower charge comparable to Fitchs. Additionally, more details should be evinced, concerning the actual estate situation in those periods of time and fundamental instructions of the two sold houses, to rule out the above-mentioned possibilities. (587 words)
點評:該范文充斥著上面討論的各種毛病,僅開頭就131字,加上結尾超過200字,已經遠遠超過正文1/3篇幅,是不可取的。許多模式句型充斥,結尾老套,不值得學習借鑒。另外很多考生關心這樣一來字數就不合要求。ETS從來沒有對作文字數有要求,盡管網上流行說法認為閱卷者將字數列為打分項目之一,但是在ETS公布的評分標準中是覓不著蹤跡的,況且ETS極講究科學性,不會以貌取人,但求以理服人,這
從他考試的設計可以看出來。所以正常的ARGUMENT作文可以在350500字之間,而ISSUE可在450600之間,這是按正常打字速度與思維速度指定的標準。很多網上作文包括我這里的某些范文都有遠遠超過500,600字的,很少是在真正全封閉作業下,45分鐘或30分鐘內完成的,在考試時間內,按上述標準的字數作文拿滿分是綽綽有余的,事實說明一切,我的諸多戰友,包括前面提及的Violet,從來都是靠5步一殺,3步一槍,(500字左右ISSUE,300字左右ARGUMENT),在4,6級詞匯范圍內穩拿5分6分,可見一斑。不相信的考生應該自己在PP2、PP3的作文模考中親身體驗,我會在最后推薦大家一個行之有效的快速練習作文速度和質量槍手作文速成訓練法,我們這一輩稱為替身殺手的人都是這樣練出來的。