英語講義【163】怎樣使句子簡練利落
不是所有的長句都是羅唆的,也不是凡是短的句子都是洗練的。我們要盡量運用簡練的句子;我們也要盡量把沒有增添語意的詞語去掉,并且將冗長句子節縮,使之簡練利落。
我們可以從四方面著手:
一、消除多余的詞語
每句話里的詞藻或用語,如果對語意起不了作用就不要鋪張,要給以鏟除,因此(1)a-(7)a都嫌嘮叨,要由(1)b-(7)b來取代:
(1)a. At this point of time
b. Now
(2)a. Bring all this to a conclusion.
b. Concluding this.
(3)a. Has a tendency to drop
b. Can drop easily.
(4)a. On account of the fact that
b. As/Since
(5)a. Situated in the vicinity of
b. near
(6)a. June was detemined in her mind to
b. June was determind to /June decided to
(7)a. Here comes David, a person whom I idolise and for whom I have the greatest admiration.
b. Here comes David,a person I idolise./Here comes my idol, David.
二、避免不必要的重復
重復重要的字眼是種修辭手段,但是不必要或無目的的重復,卻使句子累贅不自然,因此(8)a-(12)a要改為(8)b-(12)b:
(8)a. Close proximity
b. Proximity
(9)a. Cooperate together
b. Cooperate/work together
(10)a. Most unique
b. unique
(11)a. The patient in Ward 2 is a mentally ill man.
b. The patient in Ward 2 is mentally ill.
(12)a. A good teacher helps each student to become a better student, both academically and mentally.
b. A good teacher helps each student to grow. /develop academically and mentally.
三、簡化句子結構
句子結構務必明確易解,如果出現不必要的迂回狀況,便要糾正加以簡化,而且盡量采用恰當的動詞,臻達這目的;因此(13)a-(14)a要改為(13)b-(14)b:
(13)a. Rarely should a doctor give a patient an estimate of how many months or years he or she will live.
b.Rarely should a doctor estimate/predict how long a patient will live.
(14)a. The manager is responsible for monitoring and balancing the annual budget for all expenses.
b. The manager monitors and balances the annual budget.
四、將從句節縮為短語、短語簡化為單詞
英語從句和短語,特別是修飾性質者,可以簡而略之,但語意不變,如(15)a和(16)a都可節縮為(15)b和(16)b:
(15)a. The oral approach,which is a method of language teaching,is effective for teaching oral communication.
b. The oral approach, a method of language teaching, is effective for teaching oral communication.
(16)a. Janets jacket, made of cotton, is too warm for hot weather here.
b. Janets cotton jacket, is too warm for hot weather
不是所有的長句都是羅唆的,也不是凡是短的句子都是洗練的。我們要盡量運用簡練的句子;我們也要盡量把沒有增添語意的詞語去掉,并且將冗長句子節縮,使之簡練利落。
我們可以從四方面著手:
一、消除多余的詞語
每句話里的詞藻或用語,如果對語意起不了作用就不要鋪張,要給以鏟除,因此(1)a-(7)a都嫌嘮叨,要由(1)b-(7)b來取代:
(1)a. At this point of time
b. Now
(2)a. Bring all this to a conclusion.
b. Concluding this.
(3)a. Has a tendency to drop
b. Can drop easily.
(4)a. On account of the fact that
b. As/Since
(5)a. Situated in the vicinity of
b. near
(6)a. June was detemined in her mind to
b. June was determind to /June decided to
(7)a. Here comes David, a person whom I idolise and for whom I have the greatest admiration.
b. Here comes David,a person I idolise./Here comes my idol, David.
二、避免不必要的重復
重復重要的字眼是種修辭手段,但是不必要或無目的的重復,卻使句子累贅不自然,因此(8)a-(12)a要改為(8)b-(12)b:
(8)a. Close proximity
b. Proximity
(9)a. Cooperate together
b. Cooperate/work together
(10)a. Most unique
b. unique
(11)a. The patient in Ward 2 is a mentally ill man.
b. The patient in Ward 2 is mentally ill.
(12)a. A good teacher helps each student to become a better student, both academically and mentally.
b. A good teacher helps each student to grow. /develop academically and mentally.
三、簡化句子結構
句子結構務必明確易解,如果出現不必要的迂回狀況,便要糾正加以簡化,而且盡量采用恰當的動詞,臻達這目的;因此(13)a-(14)a要改為(13)b-(14)b:
(13)a. Rarely should a doctor give a patient an estimate of how many months or years he or she will live.
b.Rarely should a doctor estimate/predict how long a patient will live.
(14)a. The manager is responsible for monitoring and balancing the annual budget for all expenses.
b. The manager monitors and balances the annual budget.
四、將從句節縮為短語、短語簡化為單詞
英語從句和短語,特別是修飾性質者,可以簡而略之,但語意不變,如(15)a和(16)a都可節縮為(15)b和(16)b:
(15)a. The oral approach,which is a method of language teaching,is effective for teaching oral communication.
b. The oral approach, a method of language teaching, is effective for teaching oral communication.
(16)a. Janets jacket, made of cotton, is too warm for hot weather here.
b. Janets cotton jacket, is too warm for hot weather