學會說不 設定界限后你的生活發生這10件大事
It's not selfish to prioritize yourself.
優先考慮自己并不自私。
You can’t be all things — or do all things — for all people.
你不可能成為萬物，或者說你不可能為所有人做一切事情。
A life without limits means rarely saying “no” and considering everyone else’s feelings before your own. Not only are these people-pleasing habits wholly exhausting, they put you on the direct road to burnout, a major health hazard in its own right. They disregard how much work or effort you can handle on a regular basis.
沒有界限的人生意味著極少說“不”，而且在考慮自己的感受之前總是先考慮別人的感受。這些取悅別人的習慣不僅會使人完全筋疲力盡，它們還會直接把你推向疲憊不堪，而且是危害自身健康的一個主要因素。它們通常忽視你能處理多少工作。
That’s where boundaries come into play, according to researcher and public speaker Brené Brown. In a video posted on the subject last month that’s continuing to go viral online, Brown explains how establishing your own personal fences can do wonders for your wellbeing.
那就是界限發揮作用的地方，研究員兼發言人Brené Brown如是說。關于這個主題的一個視頻在上個月被發布，而且繼續在網上像病毒一般擴散開來。Brown在視頻中說明了怎樣設立自己的圍欄才能為自己的幸福創造奇跡。
“I’d rather be loving and generous but very straightforward with what’s okay and what’s not okay,” she said.“
我更喜歡細心周到又慷慨大方，但是會坦率地表明什么可以，什么不可以，”她說道。
In other words, boundaries aren’t a way to keep people out. They make life as enjoyable as possible for you and for your loved ones as a result.
換句話說，界限不是阻擋人們的一種方式，而是使你和你所愛之人可以盡可能地享受生活中的樂趣。
We consulted boundaries expert Chad Buck, a clinical psychologist at Vanderbilt University’s Work/Life Employee Assistance Program, on the life-changing power of establishing a clear-cut view of what you’re willing to tolerate. Below are a few great things that happen when you learn to set your own limits:
界限專家Chad Buck是范德堡大學員工工作/生活援助計劃中的一位臨床心理學家。我們向他咨詢了有關為愿意忍受的事物設定一個明確界限對人生變化的影響力。以下是在你學著設定自己的界限時會發生的幾件大事：
1. You’re more self-aware.
1、你會更有自知之明。
2. You become a better friend and partner.
2、你會成為一個更好的朋友和伙伴。
3. You take better care of yourself.
3、你會更好地照顧自己。
4. You’re less stressed.
4、你會感覺壓力有所減少。
5. You’re a better communicator.
5、你會是一位更好的通信員。
6. You start trusting people more.
6、你開始更加信任別人。
7. You’re less angry.
7、你生氣的次數少了。
8. You learn how to say “no.”
8、你學會如何說“不”。
9. You end up doing things you actually want to do.
9、你終于做了你真正想做的事。
10. You become a more understanding person.
10、你成為一個更加體諒別人的人。
It's not selfish to prioritize yourself.
優先考慮自己并不自私。
You can’t be all things — or do all things — for all people.
你不可能成為萬物，或者說你不可能為所有人做一切事情。
A life without limits means rarely saying “no” and considering everyone else’s feelings before your own. Not only are these people-pleasing habits wholly exhausting, they put you on the direct road to burnout, a major health hazard in its own right. They disregard how much work or effort you can handle on a regular basis.
沒有界限的人生意味著極少說“不”，而且在考慮自己的感受之前總是先考慮別人的感受。這些取悅別人的習慣不僅會使人完全筋疲力盡，它們還會直接把你推向疲憊不堪，而且是危害自身健康的一個主要因素。它們通常忽視你能處理多少工作。
That’s where boundaries come into play, according to researcher and public speaker Brené Brown. In a video posted on the subject last month that’s continuing to go viral online, Brown explains how establishing your own personal fences can do wonders for your wellbeing.
那就是界限發揮作用的地方，研究員兼發言人Brené Brown如是說。關于這個主題的一個視頻在上個月被發布，而且繼續在網上像病毒一般擴散開來。Brown在視頻中說明了怎樣設立自己的圍欄才能為自己的幸福創造奇跡。
“I’d rather be loving and generous but very straightforward with what’s okay and what’s not okay,” she said.“
我更喜歡細心周到又慷慨大方，但是會坦率地表明什么可以，什么不可以，”她說道。
In other words, boundaries aren’t a way to keep people out. They make life as enjoyable as possible for you and for your loved ones as a result.
換句話說，界限不是阻擋人們的一種方式，而是使你和你所愛之人可以盡可能地享受生活中的樂趣。
We consulted boundaries expert Chad Buck, a clinical psychologist at Vanderbilt University’s Work/Life Employee Assistance Program, on the life-changing power of establishing a clear-cut view of what you’re willing to tolerate. Below are a few great things that happen when you learn to set your own limits:
界限專家Chad Buck是范德堡大學員工工作/生活援助計劃中的一位臨床心理學家。我們向他咨詢了有關為愿意忍受的事物設定一個明確界限對人生變化的影響力。以下是在你學著設定自己的界限時會發生的幾件大事：
1. You’re more self-aware.
1、你會更有自知之明。
2. You become a better friend and partner.
2、你會成為一個更好的朋友和伙伴。
3. You take better care of yourself.
3、你會更好地照顧自己。
4. You’re less stressed.
4、你會感覺壓力有所減少。
5. You’re a better communicator.
5、你會是一位更好的通信員。
6. You start trusting people more.
6、你開始更加信任別人。
7. You’re less angry.
7、你生氣的次數少了。
8. You learn how to say “no.”
8、你學會如何說“不”。
9. You end up doing things you actually want to do.
9、你終于做了你真正想做的事。
10. You become a more understanding person.
10、你成為一個更加體諒別人的人。
