想成為更健談的人? 5個有科學依據的方法來幫你!
The key to being a better conversationalist is to be an attention-giver rather than an attention-getter. This means you begin to concentrate more on the person you're speaking with, and on gratifying their needs instead of your own.
想成為侃侃而談的人，關鍵是要成為一個給予關注的人，而不是獲得關注的人。這意味著你要把更多的精力集中在和你講話的人身上，滿足他們的需求而不是自己的需求。
1.Use People's Names More
1.多說對方的名字
We are more likely to be in tune with others when they say our name. Dale Carnegie, an author of public speaking and interpersonal skills books, previously said our names are "the sweetest and most important sound" to us.
當別人說出我們的名字時，我們會更可能和他們保持在一個頻道上。公共演講和人際關系類書籍作者戴爾·卡耐基曾說過，對人們而言，自己的名字是“最甜美、最重要的聲音”。
In conversation, you can use this to your advantage by asking for their name, and then dropping their name occasionally throughout the conversation later on.
在交談中，你可以充分利用這一點，先詢問對方的名字，然后在后面的談話中偶爾提到它。
The ability to remember someone's name has been linked to people being more likely to help you, more likely to buy from you, and is seen as a compliment.
記住別人名字的能力讓你更容易獲得幫助、更有可能售出商品，這種行為被視為一種贊美。
A study in the Journal of Consumer Research found using people's names is a complementary means of persuasion. When we hear our name, we automatically shift our attention to the speaker, which creates an illusion that we are important.
《消費者研究期刊》上的一項研究發現，使用人名是增強說服力的方法。當聽到自己的名字時，我們就會自動把注意力轉移到說話者身上，產生一種我們很重要的暗示。
2.Encourage People To Talk About Themselves
2.鼓勵人們談論自己
Talking about ourselves triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money.
談論自己能像食物和金錢一樣讓我們的大腦產生一種愉悅感。
A study in PNAS found individuals place high subjective value on opportunities to communicate their thoughts and feelings to others.
《美國國家科學院院刊》上的一篇研究發現，個體在交流思想情感時會帶入強烈的主觀價值。
An attention-giver will give their undivided attention to the individual, and allow them to focus the conversation on themselves to feel important.
一名給予關注者會全心全意地關注對方，并允許他們把談話焦點放在自己身上，使他們感到自己很重要。
3.Repeat The Last Three Words
3.重復最后三個單詞
Repetition is ideal when it comes to good communication skills, especially repeating the last three words of a conversation; this is known as "The Echo Effect."
重復是完美的溝通訣竅，特別是重復一次談話中的最后三個字：這就是所謂的“回聲效應”。
Simply repeating the last two or three words an individual said in a sympathetic, questioning tone will allow the conversation to go back to the person, and make them feel more important.
用感同身受、帶著疑問的語氣簡單重復一個人說過的最后兩三個字，就會讓對話回到對方身上，讓他們感覺自己更加重要。
A study in Journal of Language and Social Psychology found mirroring people's words can be a very important skill in building likability, rapport, and social cohesion.
《語言與社會心理學期刊》上的一項研究發現，重復別人的話語是建立好感度、融洽氣氛以及社會凝聚力的重要技巧。
4.Emphasize Similarities
4.強調共性
Naturally, we tend to bond with people who are like us. However, we seem to be unaware of this fact.
我們天生傾向于和同類建立聯系。然而，我們似乎沒有意識到這點。
A study in Evolutionary Psychology found when individuals were asked what they wanted in a partner, the majority said they would prefer a complementary partner rather than a similar one.
《進化心理學》上的一篇研究發現，當被問到想要什么樣的伴侶時，大多數人表示，他們更喜歡和自己互補的伴侶，而不是和自己相似的。
However, the individuals were more likely to choose a partner who they thought was very similar to them.
不過，人們更可能選擇自己眼中的同類作為伴侶。
In reality, this shows we're not influenced by our friends after we meet them, we organically gravitate towards them because they're just like us.
事實上，這表明我們和朋友見面后不會受到他們的影響。我們自然而然地被他們吸引，是因為他們和我們很像。
With total strangers, we can use this to our advantage, and shift the conversation to topics you're both interested in. This gets them to talk about things they like, as you're being receptive about this similarity.
和完全陌生的人接觸時，也可以利用這點，把談話引到你們都感興趣的話題上。這樣對方就能夠談論他喜歡的事情，因為你對這種相似性很容易接受。
5.Gossip Positively
5.正面八卦
Not all gossip is bad gossip, especially when it comes to compliments. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found what you say about others colors how people see you.
并非所有的八卦都是不好的閑話，尤其是贊美的話?！度烁衽c社會心理學》雜志上的一項研究發現，你對別人的評價會影響別人對你的看法。
If you compliment people, you're likely to be seen positively; if you complain, you're likely to be associated with those negative traits you hate.
如果你贊美別人，聽眾也會用積極的眼光來看待你；如果你抱怨別人，聽眾可能會把你和那些你討厭的消極品質聯系在一起。
When you gossip about others, listeners unconsciously associate you with those characteristics you're describing, eventually having those traits 'transferred' on to you.
當你八卦別人的時候，聽眾會不自覺地把你所描述的那些特征和你聯系在一起，最終把這些特征“轉移”到你身上。
The key to being a better conversationalist is to be an attention-giver rather than an attention-getter. This means you begin to concentrate more on the person you're speaking with, and on gratifying their needs instead of your own.
想成為侃侃而談的人，關鍵是要成為一個給予關注的人，而不是獲得關注的人。這意味著你要把更多的精力集中在和你講話的人身上，滿足他們的需求而不是自己的需求。
1.Use People's Names More
1.多說對方的名字
We are more likely to be in tune with others when they say our name. Dale Carnegie, an author of public speaking and interpersonal skills books, previously said our names are "the sweetest and most important sound" to us.
當別人說出我們的名字時，我們會更可能和他們保持在一個頻道上。公共演講和人際關系類書籍作者戴爾·卡耐基曾說過，對人們而言，自己的名字是“最甜美、最重要的聲音”。
In conversation, you can use this to your advantage by asking for their name, and then dropping their name occasionally throughout the conversation later on.
在交談中，你可以充分利用這一點，先詢問對方的名字，然后在后面的談話中偶爾提到它。
The ability to remember someone's name has been linked to people being more likely to help you, more likely to buy from you, and is seen as a compliment.
記住別人名字的能力讓你更容易獲得幫助、更有可能售出商品，這種行為被視為一種贊美。
A study in the Journal of Consumer Research found using people's names is a complementary means of persuasion. When we hear our name, we automatically shift our attention to the speaker, which creates an illusion that we are important.
《消費者研究期刊》上的一項研究發現，使用人名是增強說服力的方法。當聽到自己的名字時，我們就會自動把注意力轉移到說話者身上，產生一種我們很重要的暗示。
2.Encourage People To Talk About Themselves
2.鼓勵人們談論自己
Talking about ourselves triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money.
談論自己能像食物和金錢一樣讓我們的大腦產生一種愉悅感。
A study in PNAS found individuals place high subjective value on opportunities to communicate their thoughts and feelings to others.
《美國國家科學院院刊》上的一篇研究發現，個體在交流思想情感時會帶入強烈的主觀價值。
An attention-giver will give their undivided attention to the individual, and allow them to focus the conversation on themselves to feel important.
一名給予關注者會全心全意地關注對方，并允許他們把談話焦點放在自己身上，使他們感到自己很重要。
3.Repeat The Last Three Words
3.重復最后三個單詞
Repetition is ideal when it comes to good communication skills, especially repeating the last three words of a conversation; this is known as "The Echo Effect."
重復是完美的溝通訣竅，特別是重復一次談話中的最后三個字：這就是所謂的“回聲效應”。
Simply repeating the last two or three words an individual said in a sympathetic, questioning tone will allow the conversation to go back to the person, and make them feel more important.
用感同身受、帶著疑問的語氣簡單重復一個人說過的最后兩三個字，就會讓對話回到對方身上，讓他們感覺自己更加重要。
A study in Journal of Language and Social Psychology found mirroring people's words can be a very important skill in building likability, rapport, and social cohesion.
《語言與社會心理學期刊》上的一項研究發現，重復別人的話語是建立好感度、融洽氣氛以及社會凝聚力的重要技巧。
4.Emphasize Similarities
4.強調共性
Naturally, we tend to bond with people who are like us. However, we seem to be unaware of this fact.
我們天生傾向于和同類建立聯系。然而，我們似乎沒有意識到這點。
A study in Evolutionary Psychology found when individuals were asked what they wanted in a partner, the majority said they would prefer a complementary partner rather than a similar one.
《進化心理學》上的一篇研究發現，當被問到想要什么樣的伴侶時，大多數人表示，他們更喜歡和自己互補的伴侶，而不是和自己相似的。
However, the individuals were more likely to choose a partner who they thought was very similar to them.
不過，人們更可能選擇自己眼中的同類作為伴侶。
In reality, this shows we're not influenced by our friends after we meet them, we organically gravitate towards them because they're just like us.
事實上，這表明我們和朋友見面后不會受到他們的影響。我們自然而然地被他們吸引，是因為他們和我們很像。
With total strangers, we can use this to our advantage, and shift the conversation to topics you're both interested in. This gets them to talk about things they like, as you're being receptive about this similarity.
和完全陌生的人接觸時，也可以利用這點，把談話引到你們都感興趣的話題上。這樣對方就能夠談論他喜歡的事情，因為你對這種相似性很容易接受。
5.Gossip Positively
5.正面八卦
Not all gossip is bad gossip, especially when it comes to compliments. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found what you say about others colors how people see you.
并非所有的八卦都是不好的閑話，尤其是贊美的話?！度烁衽c社會心理學》雜志上的一項研究發現，你對別人的評價會影響別人對你的看法。
If you compliment people, you're likely to be seen positively; if you complain, you're likely to be associated with those negative traits you hate.
如果你贊美別人，聽眾也會用積極的眼光來看待你；如果你抱怨別人，聽眾可能會把你和那些你討厭的消極品質聯系在一起。
When you gossip about others, listeners unconsciously associate you with those characteristics you're describing, eventually having those traits 'transferred' on to you.
當你八卦別人的時候，聽眾會不自覺地把你所描述的那些特征和你聯系在一起，最終把這些特征“轉移”到你身上。
